step one

Today I was seeing the "Student Coach" at the school. She's like a psychologist, but not quite the same. She wanted to know about my family, friends and all that stuff. I decided to be honest with her and tell her how it all was (otherwise there wouldn't be a point of me being there in the first place). Well.. not everything.. but most of it. I told her that I have a tendency of being sad/depressed much of the time and so on.
But she suggested that in order to be more happy, I could write three things down, by the end of each day, that had been good in any way. And I think I'm gonna do it. It's a good start.

When I get sad, I simply stop being sad and be awesome instead
- Barney Stinson

It will kill you...

I really wish I could explain, what I mean by that headline. But I don't have the words.. I just know it's true. I can feel it. I've felt that way for some time now. I don't know what it is excactly. I just know that it will kill you in the end.

Music is my religion

- Jimi Hendrix

way to go..

Today (or yesterday, since I'm writing this at 01.32 am) I've moved for the third time in two years. It makes me think. Do I have a adapting problem? Because no matter where I am, and who I'm with, it's only a matter of time before I want to be somewhere else.
Or maybe I just really need a good reason to "stay".

I've been at my new school for two weeks now. And I feel really good about it. Nice class. Nice teachers. Nice hours (weekend starts at 11.20 am EVERY friday).
But then again.. I said the same thing about the Gymnasium last year.. and I ended up doing nothing for six months.

And no one actually know what I'm about to write now.
For two years ago, when I was at Hammerum Efterskole, I also wanted to drop out. Not because of the people, or my roomie, who I actually never bonded with. The teachers were great too.
But I just didn't felt like I belonged there. Something was... Off.
But today I am glad that I didn't drop out! I have two amazing friendships that I wouldn't trade for anything! And a lot of other friendships that means the world to me! Thank you, Cecilie and Sebastian!

But I'm still lying here, wondering how long it'll take before I move again.

Stuck in here

Once again I'm stuck in here
Once again I'm in low gear
Once again I have a fear
Once again I'm stuck in here

Hey, just close the door
Think back and just ignore
Hey, just close your eyes
Think back and realize

Oh no, I'm stuck in here
Oh no, I'm stuck in here

What makes you think that it's okay?
Don't start it off, don't try to relate
Take the job, but not the day
Forget the hours, but not the day

Hey, just close your eyes
Think back and realize
Hey, just close the door
Think back and just ignore

Oh no, I'm stuck in here

-

I just feel so damn angry. On everything and everyone. Everything is fucked up! The world has suddenly turned upside down. And just as I was getting used to the way it were for just a week ago.
I can't really explain it. Just wait.

Btw

I have some AWESOME ideas for a short story. I hope you would read it and give me some feedback when I'm done.
It's gonna be in danish, and I'll start writhing tomorrow when "she" is going home again. :-) <---- oh yeah.. that was a smiley on my blog, right after I've published another depressing post, only few minutes ago.
But I have a good feeling about this.

-.-

She just lies there. On the madras beside my bed. Sleeping. And all I want to do is to crawl down next to her.

Being with her was the thing I've been looking forward to the most in this summer.

I've had a huge crush for her since we met, soon two years ago. And right now I hate myself for not doing anything about it.
But the worst part is that I have a pretty strong feeling that she knows, and that's probably the reason why she seems more distant than usual. I guess that just means that she doesn't feel the same way.
But then again, who can blame her?

I'm pathetic. And even more for posting it here, where nobody reads it anyway.

Awesome way to start blogging again.