Fail

Do you know the feeling, that all the people around you always seems to have everything going exactly as they've planed? That they have everything figured out? They know what to do, and how to do it? That they have all the things you want, but simply can't have, because... I can't even finish that sentence.

As you've probably already guessed, this is exactly how I feel.

All my friends seems to have everything rolling for them. They have jobs, go to school, have girlfriends/boyfriends, a family who actually cares about them, a plan for their lifes, are good at what they do. You know.

And look at me. I'm a mess.
- I'm living alone in a shitty room, because my family threw me out.
- I dropped out of school, because I was too stupid to understand anything. And now I'm starting on a new    one, just to see if I eventually find something of interrest there.
- I will never be happy with what I do, because the one thing I really want is waaaaaaaay too unrealistic.
- I don't have a girlfriend, because the only girl I'm interrested in, will never go out with me because we're too much alike. And because she, just like me, is a big mess too. (Which just proves the point that we're too much alike)
- I don't have the ability to just go out and talk to people. Sometimes I even make excuses to avoid my friends.
- I'm lonely all the time, and when I'm around a lot people, I feel even more lonely.
- I spend all day, watching TV-shows on my computer or playing guitar.
- Sometimes I actually wish I was dead.
- Even though one of the only persons, who knows how I feel, and (I think) cares about me, tells me almost everyday, that I have to call a doctor, I never do it, because I always forget. And I really mean FORGET!
- I never feel like I'm fitting in anywhere.
- My friends is constantly reminding me of how unlucky I am. And that I never can do anything right.

I fail at life.


I am so sorry, that I (maybe) made you read all this. But this is the only way I can clear my head, without throwing all my problems directly at somebody's face.

And now, I'll try get some sleep.